Modern romantic comedies often follow the same formula, and more often than not, this formula is centered around the lives of young people. Two people, often somewhere vaguely in their 20s or 30s, meet in a vibrant city, which is also crawling with young people, and they must defeat all odds as they tackle evil exes and bad dates. These tropes have become so prevalent in film and television that society’s idea of romance has become firmly synonymous with youth. However, writer-director Nancy Meyers‘2004 hit Something’s Gotta Give defies this idea completely.
When the vibrant but guarded Erica Barry (Diane Keaton), a divorced playwright in her 60s, meets her daughter’s boyfriend, the charming womanizer Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson) the two must put aside their pride when they form a close bond and subsequently realize that they both have feelings for each other. Indeed, the thesis at the beginning of the film adheres to most of society’s consensus: it’s difficult to find true romance at an older age. In a few carefully crafted scenes between Erica and Harry, however, Meyers illustrates that romance can actually get more exciting, powerful, and life-affirming as we age.
In an early scene of the film, Erica’s sister Zoe (Frances McDormand), goes off on a tangent at dinner about the inevitable issue that arises in older, heterosexual relationships. She suggests a theory that men over the age of 50 simply do not desire women of their own age, which in turn makes older women resentful and successful in their careers, which turns men off even further. Indeed, Erica and Harry are extremely turned off by each other at first. They’re not remotely the people they would normally go for. Harry is notorious for dating younger women, which has never resulted in real love, and Erica has been divorced for years. However, as the first act of the film progresses, it becomes more and more clear that they’re brought together. because of their age, not in spite of it. In turn, this leads to some of the funniest, most romantic scenes in the film.
In an early scene, Erica is called into the bedroom by her daughter Marin (Amanda Peet) because Harry, who Erica has just met, collapsed on the floor while they were kissing. Harry, who has suffered a minor heart attack, is given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by a frazzled, yet reluctant Erica. In this small, visual moment, Meyers illustrates that their older age is in fact bringing them together, instead of what’s pulling them apart (Harry’s health issues are, as pointed out by the doctors he speaks to, correlated with his age). As a romantic Marvin Gaye song plays in the background of the scene, we feel as an audience that this won’t be the typical romance you might see of two 20-somethings, but it’s uniquely special to Erica and Harry.
In a later moment, Meyers crafts yet another scene that reflects that the nature of Erica and Harry’s age is bringing them closer together, and it also makes the romantic elements of their life far more exciting and fun. Harry and Erica, who are forced to live in the same house for the summer while he recovers from his health issues, both go to sleep in separate rooms. However, while Erica is getting changed, Harry, without his glasses, stumbles around the house in the dark looking for the bathroom. He sees her naked, and they both scream in panic. This moment was shocking, but later on, admittedly exciting for both of them. Again, the comedy of the scene is because of Harry’s age-related issues. Through these moments, Meyers starts to plant the seeds in the first act of the film that romance at an older age does not have to be stuffy or methodical the way film and television has portrayed it for so long. Romance at an older age can have those first moments of tension and flirtatiousness in a uniquely strange, funny, and exciting way.
Meyers continues to cement this idea when she introduces the character of Julian (Keanu Reeves), a young, charismatic doctor who treats Harry, and quickly falls for Erica. Just as one might expect from the first frame of Julian, he represents the perfect image of a “youthful” adult. He is a successful, attractive bachelor in search of a stable, committed life of love. It seems like a perfect match for Erica, but as he admits to liking her, she becomes reluctant to his advances and is unsure why. When Julian asks Erica out, he takes her to a classy, high-end restaurant where they both dress to the nines. She’s impressed by his charm and how forward he is, but there’s still something about their chemistry that she’s clearly not completely convinced of. Directly after this first date, Meyers cleverly places a tender scene between Erica and Harry. Erica is out of her fancy clothes and in her pajamas and begins messaging Harry on her computer. He suggests that they eat dinner in the kitchen (because, as Harry says, women never eat on dates), and calls it a “pajama party.” He pokes fun at their date, and as they laugh from separate rooms, it’s clear that Harry, in all of his bizarre quirks, excites Erica far more than Julian.
Similarly, in much of the film’s first act, Harry is dating Erica’s daughter Marin, who is in her late 20s. While he does enjoy spending time with Marin, it’s evident that he’s dating her because the only women he knows how to date are all in their 20s. As their relationship progresses, it also becomes increasingly clear that Harry’s interest in Marin’s youthful qualities dwindles when he meets Erica. Indeed, Marin is brimming with energy and excitement, but Harry can not keep up with her pace anymore. When Harry and Erica have a calm conversation in the kitchen, about to make pancakes, Marin bursts through the door and excitedly chats with them, disturbing their peaceful energy. He tries to have a conversation with Marin, but her phone keeps loudly ringing. In a later scene, when Erica and Harry have a picnic, the contrasts between Erica and Harry with their younger counterparts are further strengthened. They laugh with each other on the beach, everything in their conversation coming naturally to them, unlike how they interacted with Julian and Marin, respectively, in previous scenes. Through these carefully placed scenes, Meyers illustrates that constantly seeking youthful energy is not always the key to romance.
In another beautifully written scene from Meyers, the director illustrates that passion does not diminish with age, and in fact, it can be even more unexpected and thrilling. Just as Harry and Erica are about to have sex for the first time, Erica asks Harry to grab a pair of scissors and cut open her turtleneck sweater. Harry, somewhat shocked, agrees and says, “Aren’t you full of surprises?” By the end of the scene, she tells Harry, almost in disbelief at her own words, “I do like sex. ” Keaton’s performance, which garnered her an Academy Award nomination, is worth noting here. As she cries, she tells Harry, “I thought I was closed up for business. I never expected this. ” Her tears and her expression convey a combined mix of joy and revelation about romance at her age.
This scene, which indicates what is possibly the first moment of genuine eroticism in Erica’s life, also proves that Erica is finally able to let go of her habits. In the beginning, she was very much stuck in her habitual, methodical routine. However, when she meets Harry, she is able to let go of this and accept her messiness. In this way, Meyers shows audiences that romance, with age, contains a multitude of layers. It can make a person more willing to learn, let go, and let themselves be surprised by life than if they were younger.
Similarly, for Harry, when he goes back to the doctor for a checkup on his heart after his weekend with Erica, he’s told that, “The past few days have done wonders for you”. Harry’s health is actually improving because of his intimacy with Erica, which is another way that Meyers shows the unexpected beauty and totally unpredictable twists and turns of older romances. Later on, after Erica and Harry decided to call it off, she tells Marin, “I let someone in, and I had the time of my life.” Marin comes to the crushing realization that she’s never had a romance like the one her mother and Harry had, as she says, “I never had the time of my life.” Meyers illustrates even further through this contrast between Marin and Erica’s experiences, that despite the difficulties that come with love, the vulnerability that is part of the nature of getting older makes it so much more worth it.
All of this leads to one of the most genuinely wonderful finales of a romantic comedy. After Harry realizes he made a big mistake, he decides to swallow his pride and finds Erica in Paris. He tells her, “I’m 63 years old, and I’m in love for the first time in my life.” Harry has realized, after decades of failed relationships and short-term girlfriends, what it means to be completely enthralled by love. His one line encapsulates the entire theme that underscores the film: romance gets far more exciting and a lot better with age.