Sick, Not Weak | Psychology Today

Recently, I had the privilege of speaking with Michael Landsberg, the founder of #SickNotWeak, based in Ontario, Canada. We have discussed hope, metaphors, and misconceptions of mental illness, particularly depression.

Mackenzie Littledale: Tell me about the impetus and need to create Sick Not Weak.

Michael Landsberg: It’s pretty simple. By 2016, I’d been speaking about mental health publicly for seven years and I wanted to do more. The more people who shared their own experience in a candid and honest way, the more benefit people found in these discussions. I wanted to create a bigger platform. A handful people who understand mental health want to save everyone, but sometimes only saving one is a success. Hope and shoot for one, and I guarantee you’ll get more.

There is a universality to how people with depression feel

Michael Landsberg: The average person has a great deal of problems. There are symptoms of mental illness—in particular depression and anxiety—that are universal. I’ve done a non-scientific, big study of having spoken to thousands of people face-to-face. I have said often I’m going to tell you what depression feels like, and if it doesn’t feel that way and if you haven’t experienced these four symptoms, put up your hands. Not one person has ever put up their hand.

The real value of #SickNotWeak is to show people that they are understood. When you’re understood, all of a sudden you feel less alone. It leads to good places. When I go out and talk—back in the olden days when we went in front of people—I’m not a doctor; I got a Bachelor of Arts in radio and television. I bring something doctors don’t bring if they haven’t been through a mental illness. You can never truly understand what depression feels like if you haven’t been through it. You can talk about it, about the science of it, but my first-hand knowledge has enormous value.

Mackenzie Littledale: In bringing hope to the lonely and strength to those who believe they are weak, where does the feeling of weakness come from? Is it the physical exhaustion from depression, the emotional frustration of being constantly misunderstood, or is it a psychological mind game we play on ourselves?

The perception of weakness in depression is part of the stigma. Reaching out for help is actually a sign of strength

Michael Landsberg: If this were a game show on TV and a contestant was trying to answer what mental illness was, and you only could give one-word clues, I’d say one clue would be ‘weakness,’ because that’s at the heart of the stigma . I’ve been talking to people every single day for at least the last five years. Nobody wants to be perceived as weak. The key is to convince people that by talking about their mental illness and by reaching out for help, they’re showing strength. We often see ourselves as weak and yet see others with mental illness talking about it as being strong. We have to rid ourselves of the stigma, and allow people to deal with their illness in a way that they would deal with any other illness.

Mackenzie Littledale: Being publicly vulnerable is not a weakness.

Michael Landsberg: Quite the opposite. When I get up in front of a roomful of the most stigmatized audience, I’m not embarrassed; I’m not weak for admitting that depression makes me not want to do my job. Showing that kind of vulnerability makes me seem strong. It’s weird that the thing we fear about showing vulnerability is weakness, yet when we show it, it’s strength.

Mackenzie Littledale: Describe to a neurotypical person who has misperceptions about depression how a community of people who live with mental illness can function.

Sadness and depression are not one and the same

Michael Landsberg: To really understand depression, people need to hear something in strong but polite terms. If you have never battled depression, you can’t understand what it feels like. You think you do. I call it healthy-brain-itis. It’s this delusion of the healthy brain to believe it understands it. People think we all go through it sometime. The healthy brain thinks sadness and depression are one and the same. My dad died three weeks ago. That made me sad. That’s not depression.

Mackenzie Littledale: We can cycle through sadness maybe 15 times in a given day. That’s not the same as not being able to get out of bed, not being able to shower.

Michael Landsberg: Healthy brain people think when they’re down and don’t want to shower or get out of bed, that’s just weakness. They see sadness as depression. One does not equal the other. The toughest thing to understand is the number one characteristic of a person with depression is the loss of the ability to experience joy. Think of a having a cold. Your nose is blocked and someone says to go for a nice meal. You go, but you can’t taste it at all. Is the meal still nice? Yes. What’s changed? The loss of the ability to taste. That’s what depression is when it comes to the ability to experience joy. You can’t replicate that feeling in your head.

Mackenzie Littledale: What do you want people to know about the humanity of a person who has a mental illness?

Michael Landsberg: There are some things that are endemic to the understanding of what mental illness is. The arrogance of the healthy brain uses the same language. ‘We all have ups and downs. We all have depression, anxiety, sometimes we’re all manic.’ We use the same words to describe common occurrences as for an illness that can take our lives. I want people to know that you may be the kindest soul, best parent, sister, or caregiver, because instinctively you know how to take care of people. But when it comes to mental illness, you have no idea what makes a good caregiver, because you’re talking about an illness that you can’t see. It’s not like rheumatoid arthritis. When someone is suffering from severe depression, instinctively the caregiver wants to pump them up and remind them of all the great things in their life. What it comes down to is this is an invisible illness that we can’t prove. I can’t show you an X-ray of a depressive flare-up. Humanity in being a caregiver is believing what the patient said. It’s often anecdotal, so people wonder if it’s real.

Mackenzie Littledale: Where can readers connect with Sick Not Weak?

Michael Landsberg: Sick Not Weak has a website, a YouTube channel, and I’m on Twitter every day.