The demand for bulldog bosses who lead with fear and never bend is disappearing. Why? It could be that they generate less revenue in the long run, and that the emotionally intelligent, supervisor, CEO, co-worker, director, and coach may be the real money maker for businesses and organizations. Four qualities explain how an emotionally intelligent professional optimizes individual and team performance, retains employees, models taking responsibility, and efficiently resolves conflict. This style is drastically different than the approach of an ego-centric leader.
First, fear-based leadership often backfires and detracts from employee performance. A boss who publicly admires and humiliates a person for a mistake tends to create a tense atmosphere. Often, this type of leader is more concerned with his or her ego than the team. For this reason, he or she frequently plays favorites and rewards the people who continually agree with him or her instead of validating the team members who do the best work and put forth the strongest effort.
Playing favorites divides the team. Productive team members are exploited and workers who “brown nose” may instead receive the credits, bonuses, and promotions. Often, the hardest workers feel demoralized while their manipulative colleagues exploit the dynamic. Instead of working together collaboratively, the team is fragmented, and morale plummets, research finds. A dysfunctional team is less efficient, and productivity drastically declines.
Alternatively, an emotionally intelligent leader possesses social awareness. He or she is concerned with how his or her actions impact the team and is less concerned with protecting his or her ego. Conscientious and open-minded, this type of person listens and contemplates new, innovative, and creative ideas. He or she creates a safe space for the discussion of dynamic thoughts and feelings about the work. This progressive and empowering environment allows for personal, team, and company growth.
Second, a mentor who lacks self-awareness may be dangerous. Instead of looking at himself or herself, this person usually deflects accountability and attempts to shift the blame to another person. Scapegoating a member of the team who is “threatening” because he or she has good and different ideas is common.
The alienation of a valuable team member “protects” an insecure manager’s ego but takes a toll on the company. Repeatedly devalued, the person may experience intense anxiety in the workplace which compromises his or her ability to perform optimally. Frequently this worker takes mental health days and spends time away from work to regain his or her emotional wellbeing. Overall, the hostile workplace causes an accelerated amount of employee transition and turnover. Strong workers are lost and replaced with “yes” people. The cost of continually recruiting temporary help and training new employees is usually expensive.
Conversely, a senior colleague who is self-aware typically takes responsibility for mistakes and attempts to repair the damage which occurs as a result. He or she models that it is safe to fully own a misstep and ask for assistance in fixing the problem. The workspace is a safe space to admit a mistake and ask for help which often results in a cooperative and collaborative working unit. The resiliency and efficiency possessed by a functional and healthy team usually translates to robust company profits.
Third, an ego-driven leader also lacks empathy for employees and co-workers. Largely unable to resonate with a feeling that differs from how he or she wants an employee to feel, the person may instead punish or shame a co-worker for identifying how he or she really feels. Robustly defensive, the manager shuts down people and inadvertently creates a toxic workspace. Devalued employees tend to hide mistakes while the favored people are saved and rescued by a boss who needs to fuel his or her ego by being the hero. Unfortunately, enabling certain members of the team may cause future problems because important boundaries are blurred, and dependency is created.
On the other hand, an empathic leader is better able to resonate with the employees’ various experiences while upholding professional boundaries. Empathizing with a colleague provides the manager with a deep understanding of the predicament. A broad and three-dimensional perspective allows the leader to convey understanding while finding a solution that works for both the company and the employee. This flexibility usually produces creative resolutions that help a stretched team in difficult situations.
In addition, this type of boss may be secure enough to partner with an employee who is struggling. Supportively teaching the subordinate how to manage the issue tends to empower the person who may gain the tools to solve the problem himself or herself in the future. A healthy team tends to grow, evolve, and find lasting success consistently.
Fourth, a chief who believes he or she is always right isn’t typically able to resolve conflict in a productive manner. Most issues result in a power struggle, ending in a winner and a loser.
Yet an emotionally intelligent superior often entertains another person’s perspective and takes the time to contemplate an alternate viewpoint. This usually allows him or her to see both sides of an argument. Finding a compromise or simply communicating an understanding of a differing perspective before upholding a standard allows a superior to be respectful while leading. People who are heard and understood often feel more trust and loyalty to an organization. This positive energy expounds as the company builds an honorable reputation.
A highly narcissistic boss typically likes to play favorites, dodge accountability, play the hero, and rule with absolute authority. Although he or she may unconsciously enact these tendencies to defend his or her deeply fragile ego, they substantially impact an organization’s bottom line and reputation.
A person who possesses emotional intelligence typically encourages, empowers, and empathizes with colleagues while upholding expectations and boundaries. Moreover, his or her ability to resolve conflict productively preserves precious work time and promotes cohesiveness and higher performance overall.